All Alone
by Ladyjax216
Summary: When Andy returns from project Dakota, things are not the same. What happens when something happens to Tommy? HOw will Andy deal?
1. Chapter 1

So, I have been back from my UC op for a few weeks now. To say that things are different, is a huge understatement. Chris wants to move to Timmins, Frank and Noelle are getting married, Sam is a detective now and, oh yeah, Sam has a girlfriend. Marlo Cruz. I can't tell you how surprised I was when I found Sam in the kitchen, kissing her.

Sure I left to go UC, but I honestly thought that after everything he said to me, the night I held the grenade, that he would wait for me. I thought about him every day while I was under. I told Nick that I didn't even remember his phone number, but there is no way that I can ever forget anything about that man. He has been a part of my life for the last 3 years. First as my TO, then "friend" (as if we were ever really friends) and finally lover. That night at the Alpine was one of the happiest nights of my life.

Then I left. I left because I wanted both of us to keep our jobs. I knew that there was no way that we would be able to stay away from each other for 3 months. He says that all he wanted was me, but if we had of been fired, he would have resented me for it one day. So I went away for 3 months, so we could have a future together. Looking back, I don't think he ever really forgave me for that choice. Sure we had some good times, but I always felt like he was never really that invested in our relationship.

Then Jerry died. All I wanted to do was help him through that loss. But he shut me out. Broke up with me in a parking lot and left me crying in the rain. He has no idea how much he hurt me that night. He completely broke my heart. My heart never hurt like that before, even when my mom left.

I tried to call him after that night, but he never answered. So I begged Luke for a spot on his taskforce. I was not going to be that girl. The one who puts off what she wants, just because of a guy. I thought that Sam was done with me. He wanted nothing to do with me anymore. I was completely at peace with my decision to ask Luke for a spot on the taskforce.

Then he had to go and tell me that he loves me while I was holding a bomb! How dare he? I was at peace and he threw me completely out of whack! That night in the locker room, I was actually considering talking to him about what he said, until he made that stupid joke about Grey's anatomy. I could not believe that he took what he said and made a joke out of it. It's like he didn't even care about everything he had put me through. I walked out on him and he gave me a huge speech about what he would do to get me back. He asked me for a drink, and I was not sure. I never gave him an answer.

After Luke approached me to tell me I got the task force, I honestly was not sure what to do. I wanted to meet Sam, but how was I supposed to know if he really meant what he said or if it was just said in the heat of the moment. I decided to take the taskforce, knowing that Sam would be here when I got back.

Well he was here, just not waiting for me. It seems he gave up on us and decided that he was done with me and wanted Marlo. So here I sit, trying once again to get over my broken heart.

Actually, I am sitting in Tracy's office, waiting for her so we can have our first girls night since I have been back. Gail had finally soften towards me so she will be there too. I am so absorbed in a picture of Leo on Tracy's desk, that I don't even see the shadow in the doorway.

"Hey McNally, waiting for Nash?" I hear Marlo ask.

I look up and see her standing in the doorway, leaning on the door frame with a smile on her face. I have tried to hate her. I really want to hate her, but I can't. She has been nothing but nice to me since I have been back. And do you know how hard it is to hate someone who is being nice to you? I tell you I have tried, but I just can't.

"Yeah we are heading to the Penny after Sam and her are done interrogating their suspect"

"Since you are waiting for her, would you mind passing on a message to Sam? Marlo asked nicely.

Wow, this felt really awkward. Sam and I have not really talked much since I have been back. Sure we can be polite if need be, but that is the extent of our conversations. I was sure the look on my face showed that I felt awkward, but Marlo either ignored it or really didn't see the look.

"I…guess I can do that" I managed to choke out.

Again Marlo either seemed to not notice or ignore the slight hitch in my voice.

"Great. Can you tell him that I won't make it to the Penny tonight, but I will swing by his place later"

OK, so I really did not need to know that. I really wanted to tell Marlo just to leave him a note. But I said I would tell him, so I will.

"I can do that"

"Thanks, McNally. I will see you tomorrow"

And with that, Marlo walked out of their office.

So I am still sitting here, waiting for Sam and Tracy when I see Frank coming up to the office.

"McNally, can I have a word with you in my office please?" Frank said softly.

There was something about his tone that made me pay attention.

"Of course sir, let me just leave a note for Tracy"

I write Trace a quick note, in case she comes back while I am in with Frank. I walk up to Frank's office and can see him pacing around, with a worried look on his face. I walk up to the door, knock softly and enters when he tells me too.

"Have a seat, Andy"

That right there, tells me that this is not going to be good. Frank only calls me Andy when something is really wrong.

I sit down and asked Frank what was going on.

"Andy, there is no easy way to tell you this. Your father was in an accident earlier tonight…"

"OH my God!" I yell as I jump up and start pacing. "How bad is it? Was anyone else hurt? "

"Andy, there is no easy way to say this. Your father didn't make it. His injuries were too severe and he passed away on the table."

Tracy and Sam round the corner from the interrogation room, just in time to see Andy faint to the floor in Frank's office.


	2. Chapter 2

"So Nash, any big plans for tonight?" Sam asked as they were returning to their office from the interrogation room.

"Leo is with Dex, so I'm meeting Andy and Gail at the penny for a girls night". Tracy couldn't help but look at Sam's face at the mention of Andy's name. She knew that things were strained between her best friend and partner. They have been ever since Andy came back from Dakota.

At the mention of Andy's name, Sam stopped. Things between him and Andy had been really rough since she came back. The night she left, Sam stayed at the bar till closing. He got so hammered, that he had to leave his truck at the Penny. It was not until 3 days later that he found out she had been picked for Dakota. He didn't really know what to do with himself. He figured that he had 2 options. He could either drown himself in the bottle or he could focus on something else. He chose option 2, because even if she left, he could not be another person in Andy's life that drowned their problems in the bottle.

The other thing he chose to focus on, was becoming a detective. Frank had approached him and asked him to think about filling Jerry's vacant spot. So Sam threw himself into studying for the exam. He also focused on himself, eating better and working out more.

It was about 2 months after she left, that Marlo came to work at 15. They had gone to the academy with her and she had just spent 7 years on the SWAT team. They had always been friendly at the academy, so they picked up their friendship easily. HE's not quite sure when they went from being friends, to whatever they are now. Somehow hanging out at the Penny turned into dinners and going out to movies. It was fun. It was easy and light hearted. He was still in love with Andy, but she left and he was trying to move on.

When he found out Andy had gone off the wire, he lost it. He wanted nothing more than to find McNally and Collins. It didn't matter that it wasn't technically his case. Or that he was breaking rules to find out what he needed to know. He just knew he needed to find her. The relief that he felt when he rolled up the van door was immense. She was safe. She was here. She was coming back to 15.

The whole time he was looking for Andy, Marlo never really crossed his mind. He was focused on one thing and one thing only. When Marlo approached him in the kitchen after the takedown, he kinda felt bad for the way he had treated her. So, he told her McNally was in the past (although he doubted she would ever really be in the past) and he kissed her right there in the kitchen.

He will never forget the look on Andy's face, standing there in the doorway. She looked like her whole world had been crushed. He thought that maybe she had expected and/or wanted him to wait for her. He promised himself that he would talk to her and make sure they could work together. But they never did have that talk and things have been really weird between them ever since.

Sam came out of his thoughts and turned to Tracy. "Sounds like a good night. Hope you girls have a good time" He couldn't help but think about the times before when Andy snuck into his bed after a girls night.

The partners continued to walk back towards their office. As they turned the corner, they could see Andy in Frank's office. They saw her jump up and start pacing. Then they saw her faint.

Sam and Tracy both took off running for Frank's office.

"ANDY" they both yelled, barreling into Frank's office.

Tracy got down on the ground, cradling Andy's head, stroking her face, talking to her and telling her to wake up.

Sam looked at Frank. 'What the hell happened here, Frank?" he yelled at one of his closest friends.

"Calm down Sam" Frank said. "I just gave her some really bad news."

Frank was interrupted as Andy started to wake up. She moaned and brought her hand to her face and started to look sit up. Tracy helped her sit up and Andy looked at Frank. The look on Frank's face told her that what he said before she fainted was true. Her father was really gone. He was the only person in the world that she had left. What was she supposed to do now? It was all too much for her and she started bawling her eyes out, right there, sitting on the floor of Frank's office.

Sam and Tracy looked at Frank, wanting answers. Wondering what caused Andy to break down like this.

Frank looked at his 2 collegues and the one on the floor crying and said quietly "Tommy was in an accident tonight. He didn't make it"

Tracy reached over and hugged Andy. "I am so sorry sweetie. Come on, we will take you home" she said as she tried to get Andy to stand up. Andy looked at Tracy and assumed that the "we" she was talking about was her and Gail, since they were going out anyways. When Andy looked over and saw that Sam was also in the room, she went even paler and violently started shaking her head.

"NO" she said in a tear ravaged voice. She looked at Tracy and Frank and said "I don't need HIM to do anything. Trace can you just take me home?" Andy said in a voice that broke everyone's heart.

She tried to get up off of the floor by herself, but she just couldn't do it. Sam came over and tried to reach down and help her up.

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" Andy yelled, tears streaming down her face. "I DON"T NEED ANYTHING FROM YOU. LEAVE ME ALONE. GO AWAY!"

Sam looked like he had just been punched in the face. All he wanted to do was help her and she wanted nothing to do with him. He thought that Andy was in his past. But seeing her like this, devastated and heart broken, was really making him question that.

Tracy helped Andy up and they went to the locker room to grab their stuff. Andy was on autopilot. She had no idea what she was actually doing. They were sitting on the bench in the locker room and Tracy asked Andy if she needed anything.

"Sam" was what came out of Andy's mouth. Andy put her elbows on her knees, her head in her hands and just started bawling again.

Tracy was confused, but she got up to go get Sam anyways.

"Where are you going?" Andy asked in a raspy whisper

"Sweetie, you said you wanted Sam. I am going to get him"

"NO, NO, NO! Don't do that" she pleaded.

"Andy, I am only trying to do what you asked?" Tracy said, kinda confused but she understood Andy was not in a good place.

"Trace, I need Sam right now. I want nothing more for him to hold me, wrap his arms around me and tell me everything will be alright. I love him so much. I know he would make everything better. But I can't have Sam right now. He's not mine anymore. I need to deal with this by myself. I am all alone now" and with that speech Andy broke down again. Tracy just took her in her arms and held her.

"Come on sweetie, let's get you home."

Tracy put her arm around Andy and they walked out of the locker room and headed for Tracy's car. Neither one of them saw the figure that was standing just outside the locker room, having heard everything Andy just said.


	3. Chapter 3

Sam stood there outside the locker room in shock. He was coming to see how Andy was doing and he had heard everything that she said to Nash. She still loved him and needed him to make things feel better. But the thing that broke Sam's heart the most was the fact that Andy thought she was all alone. He wished she knew that he would always be there for her. But why would she? He has moved on, after he told her that he loved her. He promised her that she would not get rid of him without a fight and he broke up with her in a parking lot. Sam could not feel like a bigger jerk.

He wanted to be there for Andy as she was going through all of this. There was so much that she was going to have to do in regards to her father, and Sam did not want her to be alone. But he was with Marlo now. He didn't have the right to be there for Andy anymore, even thou

Somehow (and if you asked him, he would have no way to tell you how) he made his way home.

He went to the kitchen, grabbed the bottle of scotch, forgetting about the glass and heads to the couch. He takes gulp after gulp of the liquid, trying to forget the look on Andy's face in Frank's office.

He had no idea how long he was sitting there, when he heard a knock on the door. He was puzzled as to who would be at his house right now.

He made his way to the door, bottle still in his hand and when he opened it he saw Marlo standing on the other side.

"Hey", she said as she kissed him on the lips and pushed passed him into his house.

"What are you doing here?" he asked as he watched Marlo walk around his place, making herself at home.

"I asked McNally to tell you that I wasn't going to be able to make it to the Penny, but I would come here tonight. Did she not tell you? That little witch! I knew it would only be a matter of time before that little witch tried to cause problems between us." Marlo failed to see the look of pure anger that came across Sam's face, and kept going. "I know she still loves you but she needs to realize that you don't love her anymore and you are with me now."

"ENOUGH!" Sam yelled as he slammed the bottle down on the counter. "How dare you come into my house and start to bad mouth McNally. You have no idea what happened today."

"So tell me" Marlo spat, "Tell me what could have happened that was so important that she couldn't pass along my message to you?"

"Her father was in an accident today and passed away" Sam said quietly, anger still coursing through his veins.

"Oh." Marlo said as she sat down on Sam's sofa. "How is she doing?"

"Like you really care after that speech you just gave" Sam said, still angry. "I cannot believe that you thought she would try and come between us. She is not that type of person. And….I um …. Never said that I don't love her anymore"

"Excuse me?" Marlo said as she jumped up. "You are with me now. Of course you don't love her anymore! You told me she was in the past!"

Sam sat down on the couch, put his head in his hands and tried to figure how he was going to tell Marlo what was going on in his head.

" I never said that I didn't love her anymore. I never said that because it would have been a lie. When Andy left, I was crushed. I focused on my work, and just put my feelings aside. When you came to 15, it was fun. It was easy to hang out with you. If I am being honest with myself, you were a distraction; a distraction from my feelings for Andy and once she came back, a distraction from her." Sam finished and looked at Marlo.

Marlo was fuming. "You know what, screw you Swarek! You two deserve each other. You are both so screwed up! You're perfect for each!" With that, Marlo grabbed her stuff and stormed out of Sam's place.

"I know" Sam said as he tried to figure out what he was going to do.

/

Tracy took Andy home. It was very surreal, as Andy didn't say one word. She said nothing when Tracy asked her if she wanted to stop for food. She said nothing when they got to her place. When they walked into Andy's place, Andy dropped her stuff and walked into her bedroom. She locked the door, laid down on the bed and just started bawling, again.

Back in the living room, Tracy could hear Andy crying. She went to check on her and found that her bedroom door was locked. Tracy wasn't sure what to do. She was really worried about Andy. She supposed that she could pick the locks, but she really didn't want to invade Andy's space like that.

She knocked on the door, and didn't get an answer. "Andy, I will be right out in the living room if you need anything" Andy didn't answer her, she just kept crying.

Tracy walked back out to the living room, and sat down on Andy's couch. She really wanted to help her best friend, but she had no idea how to do that. She thought about calling Nick, maybe he could get through to her. But then she decided against it. There was only one person that Andy needed right now and he was not here. Just as Tracy was about to call someone, her phone rang. She looked at the caller ID and saw that it was Sam.

"Hey Partner"

"How is she doing?" Sam asked

"Not good. She has not said one word since we left the station. When we got to her place, she dropped her stuff, went to her room, locked the door and started crying. I tried knocking but she won't answer me. I was just debating about picking the lock" Tracy said. Sam could hear the worry in her voice.

"Tracy, I want to come over"

"I'm not sure that is such a great idea, Sam"

"I heard what she said Tracy."

"What she said when, Sam?"

"In the locker room. Look I need to come over. She needs to know that she is not alone right now" He was almost pleading with Tracy.

"But what about.."

"It is not an issue anymore Tracy. Please, tell me it's ok to come over."

Tracy could not get over the tone of Sam's voice. It is almost as if he needed to be here, just as much as Andy needed him here.

"Ok Sam, come over" Tracy knew that Andy would not be happy if she found Sam here, but maybe he really was just what she needed.

Sam hung up the phone and called a cab. He wasn't that drunk anymore, but he still had too much in his system to drive. Within half an hour, the cab was pulling up outside of Andy's place. He raced out of the cab and up to her apartment. He knocked on the door and Tracy answered immediately.

"How is she?" he asked with a ragged breath.

"She just stopped crying about 10 minutes ago. I am pretty sure that she fell asleep due to exhaustion" Tracy said. "I am going to crash on the couch tonight. I really don't want to leave her"

"I am going to see if by chance she is still awake and if she will talk to me" Sam said. He walked slowly towards her bed room. He stopped at the bedroom door and knocked softly. All he heard was the soft sounds that Andy makes while she sleeps. He leaned against the door and slid down to the floor.

Half an hour later, Sam had still not come back so Tracy made her way back to the bedroom. She could not believe what she saw. Sam was sound asleep, leaning against Andy's door. Tracy didn't really have the heart to wake him, so she just left him there and went back to the couch to sleep.

/

Andy woke up the morning, confused. She was lying on her bed, still dressed in the clothes she wore yesterday. She tried to figure out why she was still wearing her clothes. Then she remembered. Her Dad was gone. He was in an accident and he was gone and she was all alone. All she wanted to do was curl up in her bed and cry herself back to sleep.

But, natured called. She really had to pee. She climbed out of bed and headed to the door. When she opened the door, she was shocked when Sam fell backwards, right into her room. It seemed like he had slept against her door all night. She looked down at Sam, sprawled out on her floor, and saw these big brown eyes, looking back at her.

"Hi"


End file.
